Here’s a story I see play out in businesses all the time
Sarah was brilliant at her job. The go-to person for complex problems. The one who always delivered. So naturally, she got promoted to lead the team.
Six months later?
Total disaster.
The team’s falling apart. Sarah’s stressed and overwhelmed. And everyone’s wondering what went wrong.
Sound familiar?
One of the biggest leadership mistakes?
Assuming technical excellence translates into effective leadership, emotional intelligence and people management.”
Let’s talk about why this happens and what to do about it.
The High Performer Trap
Here’s the thing about high performers – they’re usually really good at controlling their environment.
They’ve got systems, processes and ways of working that help them excel.
But leadership?
It’s messy.
It’s emotional.
And it requires letting go of that control.
The Missing Piece
Let me share another story that really brings this home.
I worked with a tech company that was haemorrhaging talent. Their technical leads were brilliant – the kind of people who could solve any coding problem thrown at them. But they were losing junior developers faster than they could hire them.
When I dug deeper, here’s what I found:
✨ Leaders were solving problems instead of developing people
✨ Feedback was purely technical, ignoring the human element
✨ Emotional responses were seen as “unprofessional”
✨ No one felt safe admitting they were struggling
Sound familiar?
The Science Behind the Struggle
Here’s what’s actually happening in these situations:
When we promote based on technical skills alone, without developing leadership we can create leaders who:
✨ Focus on tasks over people
✨ Solve problems instead of developing capability
✨ Avoid emotional conversations
✨ Miss subtle team dynamics
✨ Struggle with ambiguity
But leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about:
✨ Creating environments where people can thrive
✨ Building psychological safety
✨ Developing others
✨ Managing energy (yours and your team’s)
✨ Navigating complex human dynamics
The EQ Evolution
Think about your own career journey. When did you last receive training on:
✨ Managing your emotional triggers in high-stress situations?
✨ Reading the room during difficult conversations?
✨ Building trust with team members who are different from you?
✨ Handling conflict in a way that strengthens relationships?
✨ Creating psychological safety in your team?
I bet the answer is “never” or “not recently enough to remember.”
The Real-World Impact
Let’s look at what happened at that tech company I mentioned:
Before Leadership Development:
✨ 40% annual turnover
✨ Low psychological safety scores
✨ Multiple complaints about leadership style
✨ Decreasing innovation
✨ Rising stress levels
After Implementing EQ-Focused Leadership:
✨ Turnover dropped to 15%
✨ Psychological safety scores doubled
✨ Employee satisfaction up 70%
✨ Innovation metrics improved
✨ Stress-related absences decreased
But the most interesting changes were the ones we couldn’t measure:
✨ People started speaking up in meetings
✨ Junior team members began contributing ideas
✨ Cross-team collaboration improved
✨ Leaders reported feeling less stressed
✨ Teams became more resilient to change
The Hidden Barriers
Before we dive into solutions, let’s acknowledge what gets in the way:
- The “Soft Skills” Myth
People still dismiss emotional intelligence as “soft” skills.
But there’s nothing soft about:
✨ Having difficult conversations
✨ Managing team conflict
✨ Building trust across diverse teams
✨ Leading through uncertainty
- The Quick Fix Trap
Companies want overnight results. But leadership development takes time and practice. It’s not a sprint – it’s more like a relay marathon.
- The Measurement Challenge
Traditional metrics don’t capture EQ impact well.
We need to measure:
✨ Leadership effectiveness
✨ Team psychological safety
✨ Employee engagement
✨ Communication styles and behavioural tendencies, ( in our natural and adapted states)
Making It Work in Practice
Here’s what this looks like in real life:
- For Individual Leaders:
✨ Emotional intelligence & Behavioural insight assessments
✨ Personal trigger mapping and awareness
✨ Leadership style awareness
✨ Communication pattern analysis
✨ Stress response understanding
- For Teams:
✨ Stress Awareness assessments
✨ Team dynamics workshops
✨ Conflict resolution frameworks
✨ Feedback skill development
✨ Trust-building exercises
✨ Resilience and wellbeing programmes that empower
- For Organisations:
✨ Culture alignment workshops
✨ Leadership development programs
✨ Succession planning with EQ focus
✨ Performance metrics that include EQ
✨ Recognition systems that reward emotional intelligence & communication
Case Study: From Technical Expert to Inspiring Leader
Let me share one final story about Tom (name changed), a brilliant technical leader who was about to quit because he felt like a failure in his new leadership role.
Through our work together:
✨ He learned to recognise his emotional triggers
✨ Developed a strategy for managing stress
✨ Built new communication patterns
✨ Created psychological safety in his team
✨ Transformed from problem-solver to people-developer
Six months later:
✨ His team’s engagement scores were up 45%
✨ Innovation increased
✨ Turnover dropped to zero
✨ He actually started enjoying leadership
The Way Forward
Lacuna Technical Skills Blog Graphic to be added here
It’s time to stop hoping people will figure it out on their own and actively start developing the skills that make the difference between a manager and a leader.
A Final Thought
Leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being human and creating spaces where others can be human too. When we develop emotional intelligence in our leaders, we’re not just improving performance metrics – we’re creating workplaces where people can truly thrive.
Ready to Transform Your Leaders?
If you’re watching your high performers struggle with leadership, let’s talk. Together we can create a development approach that builds both the skills and essential “soft skills” they need to truly succeed.
Next Steps:
✨ Want our EIQ reflections worksheet, drop me a DM
✨ Or click here to schedule a chat and we can discuss a team & culture audit
Because in today’s world, the most successful leaders aren’t just the smartest people in the room – they’re the ones who can bring out the best in others.
adele@lacunacoachingltd.com
